You know it’s back to school time when photos of kids holding signs of their new grade level begin taking over everyone’s Facebook feed. Well, not from me.
Don’t get me wrong. I love watching my friends’ kids grow up and change, year by year. With friends scattered across the country, these photos are a lifeline and make me smile. But as a foster parent, I can’t participate in the back-to-school photo parade — for the safety of the children in our care.
The first day of school is no less important for our kids than others. In many ways, it can be even more traumatic. The grade level, teachers, and material may be new, but for thousands of foster kids, this change is one of so many they have experienced in recent weeks or months.
New school.
New friends.
And in many cases, the city is new.
Home is new.
And the family is new.
With so many changes, the first day of school is nothing less than stressful, if not traumatic. Small things like walking into a new classroom and staring at a sea of strange faces are huge for these kids. Watching a safe adult walk away is scarier when you don’t know who you can trust.
But like all first days of school, they pass. Second and third days come, bringing even more victories and moments that are celebrated in private.
So even though I can’t participate in the annual photo parade, our celebrations are just as meaningful, but silent. We rejoice in private. We share victories with a few. And we shed tears behind closed doors.
This is the secret life of a middle mommy.
Middle Mommy Moments 